The good old days!

Well I am officially home! I know that sort of bites. No more DC for me. However I have been able to go to temple Square which was amazing.


However, coming home has been a joy, and a horrible plucking of my eyebrows! Have it just seems like being an adult is overrated. Why do people become adults? I would love just to become little kids.

The kids start to play...

Ah. . . . Ah. . . . POW! Crap

Remember once upon a time in which you enjoyed the snow. In which the snow commanded respect, you bowed to it, and you don't really care if you get snow in your hands!

Where you loved snow so much that you could do whatever you wanted and get away with it. Those were the days!
However then you have to grow up and becoming an adult. LAME

Freud

I Would Miss Freud!

To the Subject of Freud, I just found out that I could never join the church of Scientology because I would absolute hate not having psychology in my life.

Not only are they anti-psychology, but I am told this is what Tom Cruise would look like if he was on drugs, was put on a couch, said to let his emotions go, and to free associate. Not a good thing! Thanks heavens that I have decided never to become a therapist. Opera seems to think it is super funny though.
Seven reasons why I would miss psychology:

1. It gives me the opportunity to do psychology experiments on my dates.
2. It gives me the opportunity to randomly assume peoples emotions.
3. I can free associate and blame it on jaw cancer.
4. It gives therapists the license to kill if it is for the point of putting old people out of their missery
5. I am allowed to stereotype anyone that I please as crazy, including myself
6. Where the world is a whole lot funnier because of Freudian slips
7. I understand peoples emotions and how they react so that way the world makes some sense
   

On a selfish note, it is a sad fact but I miss my office at home. They actually get my humor! Granted it is a therapists office, but they at least like me. No one else does. It is a pathetic thing! Why is it that people in Utah can speak Laureneese but people in Washington DC can only speak money politics?

Library of Congress

Library of Congress

I think it is safe to tell this story now. But about a month ago I went to the Library of Congress. It was BEAUTIFUL! We went to the reading rooms, and we saw the Gutenberg Bible. However guess what, the tour guide was super mean. So here I was in the Library of Congress, trying to concentrate, listening very intently to this lovely little tour guide. When all of the sudden, Megan asks me for Tylenol. I of course can't say no, and then all of the sudden Jim wants to do a photo with me. It was super funny. I smiled, grabbed the tylenol. When the room went silent. I thought um.. . . okay.

Then I went ashen. I looked in front of me! THIS DUMB TOUR GUIDE had stopped the tour and looked at me and said "Are you done yet? You know that you can leave the tour" I thought crap what do I say, and of course, being me and wanting to escape conflict I thought about leaving the tour. WHEN I HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG. I said. "I am sorry" She said, " You know, I wouldn't mind if you left the tour. "I said, please continue, I am sorry!" when really I wasn't. I hadn't said a WORD! I swear! She was pinpointing me for everyone else. It was entirely lame. So the rest of the tour, I hung back in the shallows. It was super funny, that was the beginning of what I was so to learn a interesting journey of my life.

Never Say No To BLUE

You know the phrase never smile at a crocodile? Will here is phrase, never say no to blue, even if it is the democratic colors. Because you will never know when a grumpy boss wants to use blue as his election colors. Lesson Learned!

Make It a Great Morning. Watch Your Step

MAKE IT A GREAT DAY!
Watch your Step! Have A Good Morning!

Let me just tell you that bums are my favorite people in the whole world, and not only bums. . . the news people newsies! They are amazing. I swear if I am every having a rough morning you hear this bum by the metro that says, "watch your step, have a good morning, watch your step have a good morning you all."
However one time. Nick the Newis disappeared for about two days. Their were rumors all around the barlow center that he had a fight with Oscar the mean Newis and that he didn't have his turf anymore. Oh, the sadness that overcame us. We didn't know what to do. What would we do without Nick the fellow newis man.

But the good news is that he came back, all rip roaring to go!~ YAHOO

The JAZZ

COLORS THROUGH AND THROUGH

As I have previous announced to the world! I love this cool beyond cool team. However they didn't have a cool night, and the Wizards were having a awesome night and so. Alas they didn't win. However because we came at 7:00 to get tickets we got front roe tickets. It was amazing! I loved it.

First off I wasn't able to sit with Lauren or Sara. Because of this I had a criminal senial old lady who's soul determination in life was to make sure that I sat in MY seat. While I was not sitting in my seat I met some very nice Chinese men who didn't speak English. They then asked to take thier picture with me. It was hysterical

After I got caught I actually did have to go back to my actually spot. Alas it made me mad. As I looked up I realized that a 500 pound man with his legs sprawled out was in my seat. I said "mammm,(in a whinny voice) I cannot go back to my seat, on account of this man is in my seat, can't I just stay here?" With a firm denture voice she said "NO mam you have to your seat, and SIR get your lazy aword out of her chair and go to your own." He looked started, he looked to my white face, looked at his ticket, and said... ooops, I am in your chair. I said. I am going to go to my seat I promise, I just have to go to the bathroom. Girl thing. (I dont know why I said girl thing, because she is a girl, but I swear she is part alien). I then went and called my brother Andrew, and complained.

I then came back and talked to Ernest about his life. We bet fries that the Jazz would win. The game was truely pathetic. Not just pathetic but MORBID pathetic. We lost to a team that didn't even know how to pull a rabbit out of a hat. But we lost.

There they are, the sad faces of America folks. We left and went home, and were truely sadden with the names that we had on our cheecks. It was very very tragic. I must tell you

Dry vs. Dumb Humor

If you don't know me by now. You know that I am very very strange. Coming out here, I told my mom that what I wanted for Christmas was donkey earrings (but I wanted them early) so that I could strut my stuff around my all republican office. However my mom, knowing the best for me would'nt get them for me.

It is a well know fact, that I have a very silly, dumb sense of humor. I am the girl who just for kicks and giggles will raise her hand in class and say the dumbest thing that she can just to observe peoples responses. Then secretly laugh how dumb they think I am. I am the girl who when asked what college I was going to, they almost died from shock after finding out.

But the point of the blog, is Washington DC - is not dumb! It is sort of sad. For example today I said when a fellow staff member said that he needed to write a note to another staff member I said, make sure to sign it XOXOXOXO (I thought it was funny). Or when someone says "Oh I need to call that person..." I say "Call her what?" I basically have my dads sense of humor through and through. With a little of Lauren off to the side. But why can't people be a little silly from time to time. I dont understand. It is as if they never can laugh! WHY! WHY! WHY! Secretly I think that they all were deprived when they were kids.

Get Ready To RUMBLE

Get Ready To Rumble!

It is true. I am a Jazz fan! Since I have been in diapers, my father has raised me to love the fellow basketball team of Utah. Malone, Stokon, now... Kirilenko, Harpring, Williams--- the gang is my posse! GET READY TO RUMBLE! The bleachers would rumble beneath your seats, you would scream "D-Fence," the crowd screams. However this Wednesday I get to go to a Jazz game. Since I was six, I have been able to go to Jazz games. In fact I remember watching with my dad countless Jazz games, and even the main one in which the Jazz lost by .... well the playoffs... does'nt matter. THIS WEDNESDAY! WOOOT! Needless to say!-- I AM STOKED!

Falling in Fall

Falling In Fall

I love Fall, but I love Fall not only because we get an extended version of fall. But also because we don't have SNOW! HUZAH! Okay, so maybe secretly I crave snow. However here in the good old DC we offically have colors! SNIPE! After our excurison in the Air and Space Muesum, we traveled to a spacious mediation garden, where we pondered life the dramatic, and thoughtful way.

I took the road less traveled by, this included a flair of the dramatic arts! Maren on the other hand, took the road of quiet, contemplative way. . .
After the thoughts of life. We decided to have a little FUN. You know what FUN stands for right. "F, is for FRIENDS who do stuff together. U is for You and Me - N is Anything, Anything at ALL! Here in the Deep blue sea" (Sing in a SpongeBob Voice) (or Autumn Contemplative Garden!)

So Brooke and I (who wanted to have FUN), decided we wanted to have FUN in the SUN, by

RAKING LEAVES. . .

We started by raking a pile of leaves, as demostrated above.

Then we jumped in them. . .

After that, then we decided to have a WAR. . .

Followed by RETALIATION . . . Then all of us just decided to have a little FUN.

Overall, it was a very very fun day! Hooray~!

However I learned that flipflops with leaves makes feet very very dirty!

Lauren

Air and Space Mueseum!

On Saturday we went to the Air and Space Muesuem! It was so much fun. Here are the top ten things that I loved about Air and Space Muesum.

1. I can debate endlessly with my brothers on whether or not we landed on the moon.
   
2. Pluto is still a planet! Thank heavens! I dont know about you, but when I found out that pluto wasn't a Planet! I nearly died! I mean there are EIGHT PLANETS! Not seven! Ahhh! But then, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized. That yes. If you look at this photo in the Air and SPACE museum. . . LOOK THERE IS PLUTO! With the rest of the planets! HUZZAH!


3. There are doors with four languages there! Talk about a universal country!


4. There are people who talk fluently about aliens at this museum. I think it is a rare spectacle.
   


5. There are cameras that if you look directly into the eye of the camera you can eat Brooke's face off .


6. They have planes held with floss everywhere!
7. The taught me how to make a really cool paper airplane at the kids under 12 area. (I just told them I was mentally handicapped!)
   
8. I learned that Sputnik is not a potato!
   
9. The Metro coming there was so crowded that we had to take a picture. We think it was actually aliens trying to over take the world, or maybe realistically just the tracks shut down.



10. I got glow in the dark fingernail polish!

Actually I had a dream about the last one in which I dreamed that I used the glow in dark the fingernail polish to lead us to safety when we couldn't find a flashlight. It was a disturbing dream.

Well that is all for now.

Lauren

Squirrels Smoking Cigars

Squirrels On Nicotine

It may cause you to wonder. What do I do at my internship. What does a intern, such as "I, Lauren Christensen" do on a daily basis? Well before I tell you this, here is one thing that I have learned, and you as readers must realize. DC people can get away with anything. Not only are they 92% for Obama but also they can smoke anywhere that they please. For example the Congressman that I work for, Congressman Rob Bishop, The Big Cheese, The head

Enchilada told us interns that, "Congressmen and women alike will join together in the great grey Capital of our nation, and ruin their lungs. They will smoke cigars, cigarettes, chew tobacco, and anything to their pleasure. They will eat plenty of eggs, making their cholesterol sky rocket to be higher then that of the rotunda. This is how our nation was/is formed." Well at least, it was something of that nature that I remember like that.

Yesterday, or my point of today's blog is that today I saw a congressman feeding a squirrel a cigar. A LITERAL CIGAR! It was super funny. The congressman (name shall remain anonymous) was affectionately stroking this squirrel like his own kid, and like a cartoon. . . the squirrel would suck a cigar. I AM NOT KIDDING! Literally smoking a cigar. CRAZY huh!

But back to what I do:

1) I get to hang out with the other righteous interns of the office! Like Sarabeara, and Righteous Red!

2) I am hear to learn! LEARN! I have learned about our legislative system, judicial system, and loads of information.

3) I am able to give tours. One, thing that is sad is that starting December 2, 2008 some of our our nations beauty will be hidden from the public. It is a sad, sad fact. However, I love learning cool facts. For example George Washington couldn't be buried at the capital not only because it said so in his will, but because of separation of powers. I also get to know really, really, cool people.

4) I get to sort mail. This is a very important job, because I get to be the first person in my office to get anthrax.

5) I get to press the print button for faxes. Very important. These faxes tell the people in the office what is going to happen in things such as briefing, hearings, or spam mail talking about integration.

6) I am allowed to go to briefings or hearings for others.

7) I am allowed to turn on the lights in the mornings, and have a key.

8) I get to get supplies. Here is how it works. I walk to the Longworth Building in which I go to a place that looks like Staples and then collect my supplies and meet a man named Carlos. Because my supervisor loves me SO much. I then carry perhaps 40 pounds worth of supplies back to the office.

9) I write letters for constituents about important issues. I love doing this because I am allowed to do research about the topics that I am interested in (and some that I am not), and background.

10) I get to do research on upcoming bills.

Overall I believe that Washington DC is amazing. I love the sites, and the gorgeous sun sets. The sites are amazing. Every night as I am walking back from the Barlow Center I get to see the beautiful sites of DC. Whether that be sunset, or something else that is cool. In the end it is amazing.

Election Night Electricity

OBAMA WINS!

Yes it is true! Election night has come and gone. However wowzers was it s hoopla! Let me tell you there was no blood in the streets here in DC. The Republicans became depressed, and the Democrats partied until the crack of dawn. The horns were Honking until literally 6:00 in the morning. The following are hypothetical stories about Jack the Republican and Jimmy the Democratic and their election day.
DC Jack: Jack is a Republican. Jack woke up and was hoping for a turn around. He waited at 5:00 AM at the poles, ready McCain/Palin pin on jacket, thought in mind. . . .Maverick's going to win. McCain is the obvious favorite of the poles in Utah, however poor intern Jack has registered here in DC where 92% of DC voted for Obama. Jack went into the poles, proudly voted for McCain, and left. And got what I secretly coveted an "I voted sticker." I of course made my own "I vote sticker" except for it says "I absentee voted today, did you?" It was amazing! Jack then went through OCD rituals such as toughing his McCain bobble head, Polishing his McCain and Palin button every chance that he got, and making sure that he thought positively. Around 9:30pm he went to the GOP party and saw Obama go past 270 votes, took a picture, went home, and went to sleep.

DC Jim: DC Jim is a Democrat. DC Jim is very pugnacious and of course he knows that Obama is going to win. On November 4th, DC Jim wakes up and at his lunch break goes in and votes. He "of course" votes for Obama, and others and goes back to work. He gets off of work and prepares for the most exciting night life party of his life because the most inspirational man of his life is going to win. He still has his sticker on. He takes that off, and replaces it with a button of Obama. . . . the rest of it is sort of a blurr to DC Jim. However we do have documented evidence that DC Jim was at the White House shouting Obama. Apparently he did make it to his party, and found out that Obama made it as president, got kicked out for being to loud, and ran to the White House to shout his enthusiasm of support about Obama.

It was a crazy night for all of us. Interestingly enough did you know that the Barlow Center (which is the place that houses the BYU interns) voted for Obama. 14 to 16-- crazy huh! Did you also know that we are pretty much divided?
Election night was crazy. Cars honking, people screaming for victory, and let's not forget that I thought or rather I swore that some of those Republicans would commit suicide because they had lost, or those Democrats would kill themselves through drunken happiness. But alas, nothing to serious happened. It was a sad night for a psychology major.

On election night a lot of people watched as the president-elect came forth and spoke for the first time. Talked about "change"- he spoke about things that he could change about our nation. His speeches are like those of the great ones. Martin Luther King Junior, Truman, Kennedy, FDR, or those who inspired our nation. Like it or not. He is our President now, and we will support him. Through thick and thin. We elected him as a nation. Through the Constitution that we as a people voted him in. Although some people (including me) did not vote for him in particular- he will do great things. Like it or not, he is our leader... and though we question, we must trust.
Sincerely
Lauren

Mom Coming To DC

MY MOMMY CAME OUT TO SEE ME!

Hello Everyone,
So isn't it great when you have the greatest mother ever! My mom is seriously my HERO! I LOVE HER more the a kid loves candy on Halloween, more then a smoker loves nicotine. One thing that everyone loves my mother for is that not only is she caring, but she has got dedication right down to every pore in her body. She has determination in her soul. She has belief that things can be accomplished no matter what the outcome. Man am I blessed, to have such an AMAZING mother! I love it. If I was interview right now, and was asked. . . "Who is your hero and why?" I would without a seconds pause, say my mom. For her dedication, courage and conviction, for her empathy, and overall just for being AMAZING. I hope you will agree.
Sincerely
Lauren

Forgetful Halloween

I'm an Alzheimer's Patients That Thinks It's Christmas!

Halloween was amazing I went to a Barn Dance in which I met a huge amount of people, however strangly enough I did not ever say "trick or treat" - which is definitely a first for me.

Top Ten Costumes

1, 2) Goes to McCain and Palin for being the best Presidential Candidates ever!

3)Goes to McCain and the Fabulous BAILOUT! 7 Billion Dollars Baby! Dance those tax dollars baby. Dance those dollars. YEAH! Maverick at work honey!

4,5,6) Go to Palin, God's Gift to Women, and Home making whore for strutting their stuff on the dance floor!

7) Goes to Obama girl. This is a crazy girl who thinks that she is in LOVE with Obama, and that she will marry him some day. To better educate yourself. U-tube it!
8,9) Go to Veggie man and The Adam Family's Mom. Mortia is such a lovely women.
10) Goes to Chelsea for being such a lovely Hippie!
11 and more) goes to all the hooker/transvestites out there that made it to the dance + Hillary Clinton
11.5) Shane gets his own category because at the thrift store he couldn't believe he could fit into that dress!

Surgeon's General Warning: THIS TOP TEN IS NOT IN ORDER of what I call "The coolest HALLOWEEN" It is called the TOP TEN RANDOM ORDER of Lauren's BLOG! Got it?